Warning: if you adore Valentine's Day, dislike snarky cards, are easily offended at a bad joke, are on medication that states you should avoid terrible jokes or hate hearts you should close your browser window now. The following greatly makes fun of...well...let's go with 'Hallmark holidays'. So, if you're not into that kind of thing here's a picture of a kitten to distract you. Now shoo - no need for hurt feelings.

Still with me? Well then, welcome my fellow snark-lovers! It's Jennifer here with a terrible, horrible Valentine for you today that still has me laughing. While I'm now happily married and am free of the Valentine stress of my youth, I still remember detesting this "holiday" - tons of happy couples wandering around looking all dewy-eyed at each other, overpriced roses, stuffed animals saying " I {heart} you!"....BARF. I was bitter and alone and made no qualms about it. Heck, I still avoid overpriced roses...but that's another rant.

Drawing upon those feelings (and remembering a few people who were downright depressed that they were alone on Valentine's Day), this card was born:


For the card base, I diecut (2) large hearts, scored the second about 1/4" down from the top, then set it aside for stamping and assembly. From the same die set I grabbed a smaller heart then stamped it up with Phineas tail swirls in Hero Arts Bubblegum Pink ink. I selectively stamped half the sentiment on the outside here, then heat embossed it with Hero Arts Fine White Embossing powder. To finish off the front, I punched two small hearts from the same deep pink as the card base, then coated them with my clear Wink of Stella and Glossy Accents.

Pretty, right? Wait for it...

Ohhh, BURN!

I stamped the second half of the sentiment inside and heat embossed it as well. One last heart out of the lighter pink with Wink of Stella and Glossy Accents again. You can see here how the front heart attached to the back with the score mark to make a fully-functional, shaped card. I used the Tombow Xtreme Adhesive to make sure that baby stayed glued down.

My poor husband didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he saw this card. I told him he's just lucky to have me. ;)

So Suzy Stamps supplies used:
Valentine's Day stamp
Clear Wink of Stella
Phineas the Peacock

By the way, this card totally qualifies for our February challenge - Love. Just sayin'.

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Happy Crafting, my snarky friends!